You know, I was pretty grumpy about ZP being down. "How will I tell everybody about my exciting night?" I asked myself. But then I remembered that Neon Cathedral doesn't forbid promotion of illegal activities.

Then I looked again at the rules, and I found that in fact any and all discussion of illegal activities is prohibited. Fascists! Freedom-of-speech-deniers! But fuck it, I'm going to tell you all about the joys of drink, because Solidarity (such as it even remains) doesn't apply outside ZP.

And what a magical thing drink is. It liberates one. It makes you one with the universe, with society, with social events. Would I have had as much of a fun time tonight if I hadn't had four pints of Magners? Probably not, all things considered. But since I did have them, it was a greatly entertaining evening.

And this is the thing. Numerous Yanks, so far as I can tell, have it in their heads that alcohol leads inescapably to alcoholism. Well it doesn't It enhances personality, it removes inhibitions, it increases sociability. Drink large amounts of it every day of your life and yes, it can lead to a habit and eventually to addiction. As can internet use. But alcohol is not a fundamentally bad thing. The sooner people understand that the better, because it is a social lubricant that lets people see sides of themself they didn't know existed. And it's important to understand yourself.

Interestingly- and you probably didn't know this- anyone who posts in this thread to relate their drinking experiences is at least 21 years of age. You may have said before on ZP that you're 19, or 16, or whatever, but actually if you post in here you must be 21, or at any rate your local drinking age, because you certainly wouldn't break the rules, and it would be libellous of anyone to accuse you of underage drinking without proof.

wut

Damnit, Symuun. Shut up. Here's a pacifier.

Haha oh lawd. symuun, you so crazy.

Yes indeed. Remind me who you are on ZP?

He's Nuffy.

Yup. And Apoptosis. We're actually the same person, y'see.

You lot can feel free to talk about your drinking antics if you want. I don't really care.

I do though.

Banned. All of you.

DAMN YOU DRK.

Always ruining our fun.

Sweet! Then let me talk about the party I had this weekend.

It was me and my buddies going up to one of their off-campus houses. There weren't that many chicks there, but there was one. Kinda fat, like 300 lbs., but I can dig it.

So I took her to the back room and she kept trying to take my drink (a bottle of distilled gasoline) and I had to keep smacking her in her face and be like BITCH YOU BEST SIT DOWN 'FORE YOU GET SMACKED DOWN. Then I tied her to a chair and forced her mouth open with one of those pap-smear gadgets gynacologists use, right? And she was trying to say something but I couldn't hear her 'cause I was busy laying a huge fuckin duce right in her mouth.

I had just had, like, three pounds of steamed vegetables earlier, too, so you know that shit was heavy and rank. I pulled my pants back up, duct-taped her mouth shut with my pie still in her mouth, and punched the top of her head as hard as I could.

She fell on the carpet and I think my knuckle scalped her a little 'cause her hair was like flopping off and shit and there was a lot of blood. I dunno I'm not a doctor. I rubbed one off on her back and went downstairs to play some Guitar Hero. I fucking love that game.

But yeah, drinking alcohol can't really lead to any kind of addiction unless you're just one of those people that get addicted to things.

Two thumbs up.

That's no excuse. I'm afraid I'll have to ban you.

You can't ban me if I can't see you. Also, a cigarette.

WTF it's brilliant. If I try to punch you, my fist will get burned.

I'll admit that it is... Impressive. I never expected that you'd find my weakness. But I'm afraid that you're still too late, hero.

I'm going to send you to a place where no one will hear your screams.

My dungeon.

That's pretty creepy, drk.

It's how I roll.

My thread, it is being molested.

This thread is awesome

darthmethodist's post creeped me out.

and by the way, is it illegal that I read it?
anyway, I have no comment.

this does not count as a post, so don't ban me.

What you have done is highly illegal Zane.

EDIT: firecheetah!

YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC

it's too late now...

oh, well. you guys won't tell, will you?
it really didn't effect me.

Zane, it is my moral obligation and civic duty to report you.

you're kidding, right?

seriously

*panics*

Zane, I do not kid.

my heart's... racing

what's gonna happen?

The proper authorities have been notified.

You'll probably be contacted soon and possibly taken in for interrogation.

I hope you've learned your lesson.

...

...

...

if this is actualy happenning to me, then I hate you.
you've ruined my life...

I'd say I've helped you; knock you down now so the fall isn't so steep. You'll be able to recover quicker now than later.

I'm just glad I caught such behavior at an early stage.

Well, you ruined ours by breaking the law.

Protip: When you're in jail, clench your buttcheeks while in the shower. Life will just... it'll just be easier.

i'm not going to be banned, am I?

if this whole thing is a joke, it's not funny.
I'm very scared now, you've made your point.

Zane, it's a rule that nobody underage can read adult content. If you do it agian, you WILL be banned.

I just recieved word that the authorities are willing to let you off with a warning as long as you apologize for your actions.

I apologise!!!

*dissappears*
I'm not even coming back to neon cathedral...

Zane, I love you.

i love you guys too.
even though I don't come to GD much, i want you to know that I think you guys are great...

this was the scariest thing thats ever happened to me.

Just don't do it again.

I think we went too easy on him. Rubber rules never sustain a website.

The apology is still pending proper approval.

What would you suggest?

I say ban him from here AND ZP. Just for a week.

The council will deliberate and decide.

symuun stop being English for two seconds and look at what really matters in life!

The moral fiber of the children is at stake here!

seriously guys, I don't plan to drink
just because I read something it isn't going to decide the way I think for the rest of my life.
I very much disagree with what firecheetah said.
Symuun: what's that mean? were they screwing with me?

look, let's just forget about it.
I already said sorry.... it was a stupid thing to do, ok!?!

This is why you don't read things.

I'm not sure I can belive what you're saying, Zane, after you go and pull a stunt like that.

This is a very serious matter that I hope you are not taking lightly.

no, obviously i'm not (taking it lightly)

Zane, I just got done talking to Dark_Nayru. She said she will withold the ban for now, but should you do it again, you will get a perma-ban, as per the rules.

Looks like someone was feeling generous tonight.

I remember how Dark_Nayru used to deal with Zane's type. They'd be lucky to able to post anywhere online after she was done.

Hell, they'd be lucky to browse anywhere online when she was done with them.

She is incredibly merciless.

I remember when she used be called Mad Dog Nayru; once she sunk her teeth in she just didn't know when to quit.

Or just wouldn't.

Like a bulldog like that.

I still can't post in the ZP RPG section because of her.

There's an RPG section in ZP?

Used to be one.

Until... well... DN - she got very angry...

It exists, but it's next to impossible to find the fan works section because you have to scroll past Zelda.

And the Zelda section is a massive wall that locks your screen every time you scroll past it.

Otherwise her rage might just rise again.

QUOTE (Dark_Nayru @ Mar 31 2008, 02:23 AM)

Zane, it's a good policy just to never read anything that firecheetah posts.